I can write a commissioned short story (1000-10000 words) for you in [just about] any genre, making you or a loved one the main character [if you wish].
Whether rhymed or free verse, I can compose a poem for any occasion in any mode (comic, romantic, sad, anticipatory, etc.). Lengths vary with style. [Sonnets must be fourteen lines; free verse can be any length but tends to be 25-40 lines; etc.]
One of my personal favorites: I can create a personal parody for you, tailored to specific situations you want mentioned, of any song you wish. (I may charge more for insanely long ones.)
Among other things, I taught English, Creative Writing, and Theatre for nearly forty years. Many of my students have been published and won awards for their work. I have written four novels and am working on getting two of them published; I also write occasionally for Huffington Post. If you'd like to sample some of my work, check out my theatre site, ChicagoOnStage.com, where I review plays, or my personal writing blog, tophamstuff.blogspot.com, which I haven't updated in a long time yet does contain a variety of kinds of work. (Perhaps I will start updating that site again; could be fun.)
Interested? Drop me a line for rates and/or to discuss ideas.